The other day Sequoia called me and said "Sierra, when are you coming home? I miss you." "Not until May, honey. I'll be back for Sapphire's graduation." "What?? May?? But.....Why?" And then she started bawling. "I miss you so much already! Can't you come home now?" Apparently she didn't realize that I was actually moving here. I thought she had...I almost cried too because I felt so bad. But I didn't, that's the point.
Tonight I did though. And I didn't even have a good reason I just have so stinkin much on my plate I feel like I'm gonna buckle. I absolutely love these little girls. I'm still glad I took the job. But...gosh. Nannying 12 hours a day and then being a full time student in the evening and trying to keep some sort of social life is a lot to juggle. I spent 8 hours on my biotechnology assignment alone the other day. And today I took the girls to the children's museum...and Isalyn was having so much fun she didn't come tell me that she had to go potty, and she peed in one of the tunnels. I felt so bad I apologized to the workers over and over but they were really understanding and nice about it. (Thank goodness for kind people. I love them.) And then when I tried to take her potty a couple of hours later, after we were home, she bawled for like an hour for absolutely no reason. And dad was admitted into the hospital last night. And yesterday I took Isalyn to preschool and forgot to grab her a jacket until we got all the way there and then I felt like the worst nanny ever. And I had a quiz due last night and a discussion due today, neither of which I could do because my dang textbooks still haven't got here. And it's just...gosh. It's just been one of those days. And none of that stuff is even that big of a deal I guess I just feel like so much is depending on me right now.
But, despite all of the frustration and stress, I'm grateful to be here. I love the girls. And they love me too. Isalyn always wants to be with me and yesterday Misty told me, "She adores you. You know that right?" She calls me mom a lot, and I have to correct her because I don't think Misty would appreciate that little habit if she found out.
Yesterday Isalyn cried when I had to take her to preschool so it was a bit of a struggle to get her ready since she put up a fight. So, we were running a few minutes late. We're usually early and I always check to make sure I have enough gas. Well yesterday morning I was in such a rush getting the girls out the door and trying to get Isalyn there in time, there's only a 15 minute window where you can drop them off. And it's kinda a long drive to the preschool so I couldn't just bring her home no big deal if I missed the window. Anyway, we get all the way to the freeway and I look down and notice I have no gas. And there's nowhere I can stop to get it on the way and we still have like 20 minutes to go and then we hit crazy traffic. Like the stop and go kind that is terrible on gas mileage. So then I started to panic a little because you don't want to run out of gas in that sorta traffic on the freeway in Phoenix. So, I prayed. Really hard that we'd be able to make it. And somehow, the needle didn't move one bit the whole way. We made it all the way there and in plenty of time at that, which was a miracle in itself. And then Amaya and I made it over to a gas station and everything was fine. It's the little miracles that remind me that He's always there.
Well, that's all. I feel better about life now.