about this boy that I've been dating.
He's funny. He's freakin' smart. He's a compulsive movie-quoter. He's a great dancer. He longboards. He knows how to dress. He doesn't take himself too seriously. He drives a 40 minute round trip just to bring me soup and orange juice when I'm sick. He wants to be with me even when I'm doing homework and refuse to talk to him so that I can finish. He opens my door every. single. time. He knows the mistakes that I've made, the big ones, and respects me just the same. He takes me places where I can see the stars, places where I can read books that I read growing up, places that look like Nebraska; he takes me places that remind me of home. This boy is helping me check items off of my bucket list. He's the first to say, "Let's read scriptures whenever we're together." In two months, he already knows me better than almost anyone. Because he listens. And he pays attention. To every detail. He knows all of my different laughs and smiles and exactly what they mean. He notices things about me that I never even noticed about myself. He makes me feel intelligent. He makes me feel more confident than I ever have. He lets me be biased in thinking that I am from the best place in the world, that I have the best family, that I actually can be the best at something. Because everything isn't a competition. He is happy to just support me. He is so good to me, better than I ever thought I deserved. Probably better than I do deserve. He is patient with me. And even though I have told him that I don't love him, (because I don't believe that you can really love someone in that short period of time),this crazy boy still thinks that he wants to marry me. And when I tell him that I want to continue to date other people because, well, I just don't know what I want, he understands. He knows all about Seth, and he respects me for wanting to see him again before I make any decisions. And despite it all, he is willing to take that chance on me.
The truth is, I don't know what's going to happen. The truth is, I'm afraid of letting myself get too attached. The truth is, I'm leaving in a few months so if we're playing it safe, we've already become too close. The truth is, even though nothing may come of this relationship (or whatever you'd like to call it), I'm glad I have dated this boy. I know now how I want to be treated.